Greetings and salutations from a cool and rainy Maryland, Beatdowners.
Just a quick one...some questions that sometimes keep me awake at night...
1. If you have relations with a prostitute and roll out without paying, is that considered shoplifting?
2. Is it possible to cry underwater?
3. What characteristics must a person have to be considered assassinated rather than just plain ol' murdered?
4. Why is it a "spork" and not a "foon"?
5. People "put their two cents in" to conversations, but only receive "a penny for their thoughts"...where exactly is that extra penny going?
6. In the afterlife (Heaven or Hell), are you seriously stuck for all eternity wearing the clothes you are buried in?
7. Pizza is round, but it comes in a square box...why?
8. How is it that man has walked on the moon well before someone thought it'd be smart to put wheels on luggage?
9. Why do people say they "slept like a baby" to denote a good night's sleep? Last I can remember, babies wake up every few hours and generally aren't really happy when the do.
10. Why are actors IN a movie, but ON TV shows?
11. Why do toasters have a setting that allows the bread/bagel/waffle/etc. to be burned to the point of resembling a charcoal briquette when there is NO way any normal person would consume it?
12. Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares...then why the song?
13. Goofy and Pluto are both dogs...why does Goofy walk like a person and Pluto remains on all fours?
14. Gilligan's Island...the Professor...he could get all MacGyver with a coconut, but he really couldn't fix a hole in the boat?
15. Wile E. Coyote apparently had a ton of money lying around to buy all of those crappy Acme items he used to try to catch the Roadrunner...why didn't he just use that money to buy himself some dinner instead of always being blown up by whatever it is he bought for his latest ploy?
16. Why do Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star and The Alphabet Song have the same tune?
17. You just tried singing both of those songs to see if I was right or wrong, didn't you?
18. Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face, they get pissed, but when you throw 'em in the car and roll the windows down, they happily stick their head out of it and get buffeted with 20, 30, 40 MPH-plus wind gusts?
19. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
20. Is there something wrong with me since I can't lick my own elbow?
That's all I got. Have a good one, Beatdowners.
Until next time...
Stop trying...you can't lick your elbow either!