Friday, May 27, 2011

Holy Sh*tballz..."End To The Lies"

Happy Memorial Day Weekend Friday, Beatdowners!

**PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED**
**MATURE THEMES & BAD LANGUAGE BELOW**

So I'm behind the times - back on April 7, Jane's Addiction released a new single..."End To The Lies".  It's going to be included on their forthcoming album, The Great Escape Artist.

Anyhow, the song is a bitch-slap of truth. 

It's a swift kick in the balls. 

It's everything you'd expect from Perry Farrell and Jane's Addiction.

The song starts innocently enough...a funky bass and high hat combo...a straight, funky groove...

Then it happens...

Perry's voice rips into your soul. 

Dave Navarro's guitar howls in the distance like a wolf yearning for a meal...or a mate.

The song is the FUCK YOU you've always wanted to say to the nay sayers.

"You never really change like they say,
Oh, you'll only become more like yourself"

The song is the FUCK YOU to those that have talked shit behind your back to make themselves look good to others.

"You talk about me so much,
That I think that you're in love with me,
Yea, you do, it's true man, you're busted,
You talk about me to your friends,
Or anyone with time to listen"


This song is the smut on the floor of the awesome bar in the really seedy part of town.

This song is the primal lust that hangs in the air of that bar.

This song is taking "that girl"...the one you want in your dreams, the one you'd never take home to mom, the one you just want to get Medieval with...into the bathroom stall of that bar and having at it, all the while hoping your significant other doesn't walk in and catch you in your moment of unadulterated, filthy lust.

This song is the sweat that entwines two lovers as they get dirty with each other.

This song is everything you have WANTED to do, but that little voice in your head prevents you from doing.

"Now you,
You were the foreskin,
I was the real head,
You were the foreskin"

This is the song that you need to stop what you are doing, log on to iTunes, and download.  Right now.

This song is "End To The Lies" by the incomparable Jane's Addiction.

Until next time...

"He thought he knew me back in the day,
When I was down but now I'm still flying"

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Wicked Awesomeness

**REPRINTED WITHOUT PERMISSION**

Elvis Ate America - U2, performing as Passengers

Elvis...white trash,
Elvis...the Memphis flash,
Elvis...didn't smoke hash,
Would've been a sissy without Johnny Cash.

Elvis...didn't dodge the draft,
Elvis...had his own aircraft,
Elvis...having a laugh,
On the Lisa Marie in a colour photograph.

Elvis...under the hood,
Elvis...with Cadillac blood,
Elvis...darling bud,
Flowered and returned to the Mississippi mud.

Elvis...ain't gonna rot,
Elvis...in a Memphis plot,
Elvis...he didn't hear the shot,
And Dr. King died just across the lot from...

Elvis...vanilla ice cream,
Elvis...girls of fourteen,
Elvis...the Memphis spleen,
Shooting TVs reading Corinthians 13.

Elvis...with God on his knees,
Elvis...owned three TVs,
Elvis...here come the killer bees,
Head full of honey potato chips and cheese.

Elvis...the bumper stickers,
Elvis...the white knickers,
Elvis...the white nigger,
Ate at king burger and just kept getting bigger.

Elvis...sang to win,
Elvis...the battle hymn,
Elvis...the battle to be slim,
Elvis ate America before America ate him.

Elvis...

Elvis...stamps.
Elvis...necromance.
Elvis...fans.
Elvis...psychophants.
Elvis...the public enemy.
Elvis...don't mean shit to Chuck D.
Elvis...changed the center of gravity,
Made it slippy.

Elvis...Hitler.
Elvis...Nixon.
Elvis...Christ.
Elvis...Mishima.
Elvis...Markus.
Elvis...Jackson.
Elvis...the pelvis.
Elvis...the psalmist.
Elvis...the genius.
Elvis...generous.
Elvis...forgive us.
Elvis...pray for us.
Elvis...Aaron.
Elvis...Presley.

Elvis...

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A List of Ten Things I'm Digging Today

Happy Tuesday, Beatdowners!

It's been a hot minute since I put a blog up, and feel like I'm depriving the masses from my epic and awesome revelations, ruminations, and assorted lagniappe...so here's a quick one for y'all.

Great quote from the 80's classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off..."Life moves pretty fast - if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it".

Ain't that the truth?!?!?

So as I was getting my grub on at dinner tonight, I started thinking about some of the stuff I'm digging at this very moment in time.

I narrowed it down to 10, and they're not in any particular order.

1. Drinking beers at the most awesome of bars, The Blarney Stone's.
2. Grilled asparagus.
3. My iPhone 4, from which I am posting this entire entry in The BeatdownBlog.
4. "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band.
5. Sunshine & mid-70's.
6. My family & friends; the ones that are close, those with whom it's been awhile, those no longer with us...all of 'em are kickass.
7. My playlist Seven Days in Sunny June, which reminds me of an epic visit from the one & only Hurricane Henderson.
8. "#41" by Dave Matthews Band...specifically the live version on their album Europe (2009).
9. Kellog's Apple Jacks.
10. Being AWESOME.

That's all I got at the moment.

Until next time...

Monday, May 2, 2011

An Interesting One...Forwarded By My Aunt

Happy Monday, Beatdowners!

So Bin Laden is no more - I'm against celebrating any person's death, but I'm glad the mission started by President Bush and carried on with Secretary Gates and President Obama has been accomplished.

I hope anyone that has ideas of attacking our country realize that we will not stand for it, and no matter how long it takes, we will find you, and justice will be served.

I opened my e-mail this morning and found a good one from my wonderful Aunt Janet, and thought it too good to not share...

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college.  Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of more government programs, and a basic redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.

He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her father asked, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked, and said gently, "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence."

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, they don't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, they wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, they doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, they want all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is down-and-out, they think about how to better their situation. If a liberal is down-and-out, they wonders who is going to take care of them.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, they switch channels. If a liberal doesn't like a talk show host, they demand that those host's shows should be be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. If a liberal is a non-believer, they want any mention of God and religion silenced...unless it's a foreign religion, of course; and then they will fight for that groups rights!

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. If a liberal decides they need health care, they demand the rest of us pay for theirs.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so their friends can have a good laugh. when a liberal reads this, they'll pick it apart, talk bad about how posted or forwarded it, and say that it's "offensive".

Their is a happy medium, Beatdowners.

Do you part to meet their, today and every day.

Until next time...