And here I am, 100 days since that blog, and I have to borrow another phrase made famous by U2...I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.
Don't get all up in arms - again this is no cry for help or anything. I'm totally cool with the reflection I see in the mirror everyday. It's just I feel like I'm being a bit pulled by some unseen force to do something...more.
As I said in that December blog entry, I think I've gotten a little too comfortable. But not in a good way - no, the being comfortable is more like tolerating it...or better yet, more like simply blending in.
Blending in ain't my bag.
Dare to be great situations - I'm sorely lacking these. And that just sucks...I'm awesome, afterall...I thrive on those situations.
I think part of the problem is I didn't do what I said I was going to - actually take a step back and dream it all up again.
I didn't do that because I never really gave much of a thought to what the "it" I need to dream up again really is.
And that's the first step, I think.
I've put myself out there - sometimes way too far and way too often - over the past 12-plus years...got burned plenty for it, too...and 110% deserved each and every time I did.
I've gotten a little reserved when it comes to that of late...going big, going all out. Call it maturing (go ahead and laugh at me insinuating I'm mature, a'holes), but I really need a reason nowadays to put myself out there in any capacity again.
I never did it to be popular. I never did it to fit in. If anything, I've put myself out there to be anything but trendy or mainstream.
But I think the initial phase of the "it" I need to dream up again is determining why I need to put myself out there again - and I'm pretty sure there is only one acceptable reason - do it for ME.
Anyhow, I certainly can't and won't figure it out tonight.
But I intend to start figuring it out piece by piece, day by day, week by week...
I'll end with an appropriate quote that I need to take to heart...
The touch and feeling of free, In intangible technically, Something you got to believe in. Connect the cause and effect, One foot in front of the next, This is the start of a journey...Until next time...